I still find it difficult to sleep some nights, but when I do, I sleep a lot better because I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I like having my mornings free so that I can go back to bed if I need to plus I have time to go to the gym before getting ready for work. This helps to free up my nights to perform the rest of my balancing act: being a Mom, laundry, dishes, work, and whatever I'm hoping to do for myself.
I spent Sunday reading, watching Netflix, sleeping and taking a long hot bath. Brennan was sick all weekend and my body was beat so I gave myself permission to skip all of the things I had wanted to get done and I refocused my time on me. Quite surprisingly I didn't feel guilty, not even once because I now know that it is more important for me to recuperate after a long and busy week than to check shit off my list. Normally I would feel that I was letting too many people down if I missed volleyball but Brennan's fever peaked again and he wanted his Mommy, so I didn't go. My relaxing Sunday was not without recourse as I had anxiety all night and all morning about going to work because I didn't feel prepared and would have to cram all that I didn't do into my 20-minute lunch. Another food sacrifice.
Over the last two days, the important stuff got done and that which didn't just got shoved over to the next day. Prioritizing 101. Hey, maybe I should be a Life Coach (he he)
I spent Sunday reading, watching Netflix, sleeping and taking a long hot bath. Brennan was sick all weekend and my body was beat so I gave myself permission to skip all of the things I had wanted to get done and I refocused my time on me. Quite surprisingly I didn't feel guilty, not even once because I now know that it is more important for me to recuperate after a long and busy week than to check shit off my list. Normally I would feel that I was letting too many people down if I missed volleyball but Brennan's fever peaked again and he wanted his Mommy, so I didn't go. My relaxing Sunday was not without recourse as I had anxiety all night and all morning about going to work because I didn't feel prepared and would have to cram all that I didn't do into my 20-minute lunch. Another food sacrifice.
Over the last two days, the important stuff got done and that which didn't just got shoved over to the next day. Prioritizing 101. Hey, maybe I should be a Life Coach (he he)
In addition to giving myself permission to relax, I've chosen to add a few healthy habits to my life: I only check my work email once a day now and I try really hard to push thoughts about work out of my head when I'm at home. I've accepted I can no longer try to be everything to everyone all of the time. When asked for advice, I give it and then accept that I did my part, trying not to stress about the outcome of something that doesn't have to do with me - taking the world off my shoulders, one person at a time. I rejoined a yoga studio and I've been doing guided meditations when the mood strikes.
The question is…will I keep it all up?
The question is…will I keep it all up?
I don't know what life will look like when I'm back at work full-time but I am hoping that I can continue to no longer feel guilty for doing what is healthy for me. It turns out trying to be Super Woman is really exhausting and so I'm hanging up my cape and I'm going to continue to figure out my authentic self. Maybe she won't even need a cape?
