An Ode To Winter

Oh Winter, how I loathe the. I do appreciate your kindness this year with warmer temperatures and more sun than usual. Due to your increased sensitivity, I have decided to create a list of things I will miss about you. 




1. I appreciate that you make the bugs go away so I don't have to shoo flies, swat bees, or wear mosquito repellant.  
2. I like the accent that you add to the holiday season. You are pretty. 
3. I enjoy not being able to smell the garbage.
4. I find your season easy to decorate for, making you good for the economy. Just ask the staff at Michael's. 
5. I love hot chocolate. And Bailey's. I love hot chocolate and Bailey's together when it's winter. Win win. 
6. Brennan gets a kick out of shovelling the snow with his little red shovel so you make him happy, which makes me happy. He also likes to scream, "It's snowing!" when he looks out the window in the morning. 
7. Despite the fact that you can be ridiculously freezing, it's easier to adjust to the temperature with clothes and blankets than it is when your counterpart Summer is 40 degrees without the humidex. 
8. You make it easy to not feel guilty about watching T.V.
9. Without you, most of us would not appreciate the other seasons as much as we do when you go away.
10. And finally, dearest Winter, I am grateful for snow days. 

Appreciation

A friend sent this to me because she said it reminded her of me. It made my day. Thank you Robyn for seeing the heart of why I do what I do.

The teacher whose measurement of success does not come in the stroke of a red pen, letter, percentage, but rather in my new found, quiet confidence as I begin to realize my own potential.

The teacher whose actions always speak louder than their words; who understands that, although my best may look different from others', it is an achievement deserving of equal praise; who proves that my learning ability just comes in a different shaped box.

The teacher who often stands with me, so I do not stand alone; who displays initiative and effort before asking it of anyone else; whose committment to me, helps others to acknowledge my capacity and worth.

The teacher who believed in me, until I learned to believe in myself.

The Forgotten Room

I became completely enthralled with The Forgotten Room this week. I received it in the mail on Monday, started reading it on Wednesday and I finished it tonight while in a hot bubble bath. 

I don't imagine that most people would enjoy reading this book. There's no feel good ending and certainly no love story or suspenseful mystery.

Located in a rapidly-growing county in the southeastern United States, Peachtree Alternative School is a dumping ground for chronically disruptive students that regular teachers can no longer handle. The school has some of the toughest kids that society has to offer: kids who have dealt drugs, attempted rape, brought weapons to school, and made terrorist threats. Neglect, understaffing, and overcrowding create a volatile situation; Teachers survive threats, assaults, brawls, and rampages with their therapeutic philosophies barely intact.

The Forgotten Room is a teacher survival story. It examines the darker side of American education through chronicling the course of Peachtree Alternative School's tenth and final year. It offers a glimmer of hope in the safe zones created by hardworking teachers, but it is also a cautionary tale about the consequences of bureaucrats neglecting troubled teens.


I know that it's easier to turn a blind eye at the concerning growth of behavioural issues amongst youth, the vicious cycles of poverty that are perpetuated by underfunded social programs, rampant mental health issues, lack of education and the morally depleted society with which we live. 
...

I think in the midst of overcrowded classes, lack of support and funding, standardized testing, dwindling participating in religion, smaller families, toxic environments, an increased pace of life, the time and energy the children in this book need from their teachers just does not exist. 


A big part of my job is to try to find out why behaviours occur. I remind myself that no child wants to get into trouble. They don't wake up each day and plan out how to piss off their teachers. They aren't born ready to cause 'trouble'. They are children. They want to learn. They want friends to play with. They want to be safe and secure, fed, clothed, and above all else, they want to be loved. Respected and loved. There's always a reason, be it biological, social, or emotional, there's a reason for what they do. Or do not do.


I certainly have those days where I'm beaten down. I've written about it before and will likely write about it again. I have learned a lot over the years and continue to learn, trying to find that missing key to success. It's true that you can't save them all. But you can always try and you can make a difference, even if it's a small one that you never know you made. That belief is at the core which pushes me through those bang-your-head-against-the-wall days where I throw my hands in the air and say, "I give up!' This is ridiculous. I've had enough." 


But I've learned to let go of some things and continue to fight for others. Reading this book reminded me that everyone has their strengths. And weaknesses. That there are hardships out there way worse than yours and that to be effective in special education you need to possess, 


"...enthusiasm, authority, humility, creativity, and authenticity as critical aspects of teaching." p. 167


It's easy to get in the rut. To be bogged down by bureaucracy, constraints, and the never ending battle of that which you cannot control. I try to celebrate the successes that seem so commonplace, like a whole day without an object being thrown. I also try to remember that that kid who cannot seem to follow the rules, they are still someone else's child. If they find their environment overwhelming, it is our job as adults to reconstruct it so that it is less painful. We need to create structure from chaos and focus on the positive they do, not the negative. Smile when we want to grunt, ignore when we want to scream, be passionate when we want to give up, and advocate for those who can't. At the end of the day I think, if this were my child, how would I want his teachers to treat him? 


It was reaffirming to read this book but also an eye opener to the things I've let slip over the year. If you have an interest in at-risk youth, poverty, or resilience, it's a great read. 

I Did It!

March Break came and went. Would you like to know what I did?

A whole lot of sleeping. I slept 10-12 hours each night plus took at least a 2 hour nap almost every day. I was utterly exhausted. I need a lot of sleep in comparison to everyone else I know. Steve can get by on less than 6 hours and not be affected...I on the other hand need at least 8 to function like a regular human being.  So I slept when I felt that I needed to sleep.

I visited with these cute babies.

I watched 2, yes 2 whole movies!

and

and I read. I finished

and then started

I wrote a lot. I sat in Starbucks and people-watched while sipping my latte.

I went to Niagara-on-the-Lake and strolled the main street, going in and out of shops. I saw signs for new wineries that I've come to like so I turned left and went to them.

I got my hair done, my toes done, my eyebrows done, had a massage, acupuncture, and an ion cleanse. I shaved my legs!

I did not go to the gym. I did not start running. I did not check off very much on my massive March Break to-do list. And most importantly...I did not go into work or do anything work related the whole 10 days.

I did it all for myself for the first time, guilt free!