Transitions and Work

Tomorrow is back to work. I've just started to get into the groove of being at home and relaxing, and now it's time to switch back. I always have a hard time with transitions. I envy those who can instantly shut off the 'work' hat or the 'parent' hat and be ready to party as soon as it's time. I take at least a week, and probably a few hours of organizing or cleaning, or some other form of controlling like list making.

I became aware of what I was doing last summer when we got to the cottage. I spent the first few hours unpacking, reorganizing, and cleaning. I don't like change, especially in my environment, so to make myself feel more in control and secure, I pull out all aspects of my OCD and I let them shine, much to everyone else's dismay, as they just want to relax and I'm running around like a chicken with her head cut off.

I was embarrassed once I realized what I was doing and why I was doing it. Now I understand that there's nothing to be embarrassed about. I am who I am. I cannot change the way my brain chemistry is made up. I will not apologize for doing what I need to do to make myself comfortable. I will not falter when people make fun of my OCD traits. That's too easy. Instead I will be honest about them and I will advocate for those who can't. I always tell my students that it's ok to be who they are and to need what they need, as long as they are respectful in doing so. And those who cannot accept their differences, aren't worth their time. And they likely have some self-esteem issues to deal with - maybe they have their own issue their are hiding.

It's easy to judge others. It's often impossible to walk in their shoes though, to really understand what they go through, or why they think what they think, why they do what they do. Instead; be supportive, don't make fun of them, think before laughing at their differences, even if you're just kidding around. Instead, embrace their quirks as strengths and recognize that the world needs all types of people to go around. Wouldn't the world be a better place?

I've grown over the years and don't struggle as much with the regularly scheduled changes that come with being a teacher. The anxiety is not as bad but it still takes me a while to wind down. It doesn't, however, take me as long to get back into it. But that's likely because I rarely shut off my 'work' brain. I'm still thinking about my students at the end of July. And thinking of students I taught 7 years ago, wondering how they are doing...

As I mentioned before, tomorrow is a full moon. Wish me luck as we go through another transition at work with staff and programming. With having 7 kids who also don't transition well after just a 2 day weekend...forget 2 weeks off! I have my gym bag ready for a good day where I have enough energy to consider getting back into it after 2 months off (gasp); a bottle of wine for the day I might have, and plenty of martini recipies for the full-moon-Monday-after-2-weeks-off-for-an-exciting-but-stressful-holiday-like-Christmas kind of day I am expecting to have.

Thank you 2 weeks off. I enjoyed you thoroughly.