A Tale of Patience Run Out

I more than dislike when I feel this way...that I may snap at any moment like a weak branch in the midst of the crazy windstorm we had the other day. I will fully admit that I did a shot when I got home from work today. It was one of 'those days' and it only got worse when I went to pick up some things for my students and Brennan had a full out meltdown in the Dollar Store. It looked something like this except sans Santa and he was fully on the floor. I'll spare you the audio.

I think I am more than annoyed tonight because it really shouldn't have been "one of those days" and I likely let it be one of those days because I am dreading tomorrow and I am in need of a break. So yes, I had a Sweet Tart for good measure before dinner. It didn't help. I went to the gym and worked on the rowing machine, figuring that constant deep pressure would help me relax. That's all the rage right now in education, finding ways to relax through deep pressure as part of learning to self-regulate. Apparently the ability to self-regulate is the new way to gage academic success. Turns out proprioceptive activities work better for sensory issues than annoyance! Brennan felt it appropriate to throw himself another temper tantrum at the gym. He is generally a really well behaved little guy and we're usually like this

But tonight, he was a meany pants to his Mommy! Steve suggested he was feeding off of my mood. I imagine Steve is right but you don't need to tell him that.

So now I write and listen to my favourite music and ponder how to make tomorrow better than today. A colleague always puts days like these into perspective when he tells stories of disgruntled people he runs into. He does outrageous impressions of people overreacting to the most trivial of situations, his latest an animated story of a man yelling about how long the line was for food at 12:30 at the National Museum of Play on Family Day/President's Day. Afterward Mike always ends the story with the show stopping statement: "If THIS is all you have to complain about in life - a long line on a holiday while spending the day with your family at a place dedicated to play - then you're doing alright buddy." I remind myself of his stories when I'm letting things get to me. I think that's what frustrates me the most when I feel grumpy about my day. I get more agitated because I know I shouldn't be upset. It's a vicious circle of synonyms for being annoyed. I even did what I repeatedly tell my students to do when they're mad - I used 'strategies' . But dammit, they didn't work! No wonder they rarely use them :-) I'm going to tell them that tomorrow because I think it's important to be real with them and show them humility. I'll probably leave out my shot strategy however.

***

Tomorrow is almost March - so it's time for a new resolution. I have made improvements with the first two but I'm finding dedication an issue. Motivation is pretty low. I'm starting a new volunteer project on Thursday so I imagine I will jump in with both feet and come out soaking wet with inspiration and hopefully a new goal. March is also the month I start running again and that always makes me feel better. Coincidentally, the sun starts to shine more and the temperature gets warmer, the windows start to open with fresh air signifying an end to this dreary, albeit warm, winter. I am looking forward to it and to all that Spring brings.

Growth.
Beauty.
Nature.
And more patience.

P.S. Guess who finally downloaded her pictures?